The headlines about the Army are alarming these days. Wherever you look there are stories about the high suicide rate in the Army. Google "Army suicide rates" and you will get lots and lots of hits. I think last month we lost more Soldiers to suicide than combat. That statistic alone will cause you to stop in your tracks.
Here at Fort Lewis we've had a few and it's gotten everyone's attention. Personally, I think it's an indication of the pace of operations and deployments, coupled with the pace of life in our cell phone, internet, ipod, blackberry world. People talk more but communicate less; families are more connected, but have less in common. Isolation leads to stress, and stress leads to depression, and depression can lead to dispair. No one likes dispair.
In the past four months I've been honored to welcome home six different units after 15-month deployments to Iraq. When each unit comes home we welcome them at the airport then hold a welcome home ceremony at a gym on post. We do this for every unit, no matter how big or small, no matter the time of day or night. And every time I attend one of these ceremonies I see the same thing; the families show up hours earlier than they need to and wait patiently (sometimes!) for their Soldiers to show up. Mothers and fathers, wives, husbands and children all come out, no matter how late or early it is, no matter how long they have to wait on hard bleachers in an old gym. When the Soldiers finally arrive, after days of Army "hurry up and wait" and after a series of long flights from Kuwait, they march in, tall and proud. They endure speeches and prayers and congratulations while separated by only ten feet from the ones they love. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, they are released and reunited with their families. And then the tears flow.
I am always amazed at the sight of families reuniting with Soldiers after a deployment. Before the ceremony I take time to meet family members and get their stories; at the airport I take time to meet Soldiers and get their stories. Then I watch these families reunite, and laugh and cry and hug and talk all at the same time. It inspires me to see what they can endure, and it breaks my heart to know how much they are asked to endure. The stress cuts across all lines; rank and age and gender and ethnicity. It shows up in some you would never expect, and in ways you would not expect.
And the sad part is that the effects of the stress do not show up immediately. Sometimes it takes weeks or even months for the effects of the stress to have an impact.
Dreams get Soldiers through a tough deployment. Dreams of a happy reunion with a beautiful wife or handsome husband and wonderful children. Dreams of a new car or motorcycle and driving across country with the wind in your hair. Dreams of the rest of your life to live, safe and whole, when others were killed or wounded.
Dreams get family members through a long separation. Dreams of their Soldier returning safe and unharmed. Dreams of a family reunited. Dreams of a shared life and shared responsibilities. Dreams of sleep free of fear.
But these same dreams, these dreams that give us strength to go on every day, sow the seeds of disappointment once we are reunited. No dream can survive the light of day.
Money is tight, so there's no new car or motorcycle. You're glad you survived, but you mourn those who did not and feel guilty for your good fortune.
Your Soldier is home, but changed after long months in combat. Your family is back together, but not whole. You sleep, but your Soldiers can't.
And whatever problems you had before a deployment are still there when you return, waiting for the most inconvenient time to resurface.
When the dreams give way to reality, and the dream fails to materialize, that's when things get hard. I would love to hear your stories of reunion and reintegration. I'll be sure to share more of mine in a future post.
I could talk all day about the stress of deployments, and the stress of homecoming, but suffice to stay that this stress, multiplied over several deployments, can bring someone to the point of depression and dispair. The Army invests a great deal of time and money and effort to identify and treat this stress, but it's like predicting an earthquake. We all know they will hit, but predicting when and where is still an inexact science at best.
I truly love my job, and I am honored to serve. Watching the reunion of Soldiers and families brings tears of joy to my eyes, but it breaks my heart when I think of all they have to go through to reintegrate and reconnect and rebuild their lives together. And yet, knowing what I know, I would still deploy again in a heartbeat. And my wife would still wait for me. At least that's my dream.
Until next time,
Phillips, out.
Saturday 7 February 2009
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5 comments:
Please contine to share your thoughts. They are becoming a great and valuable resource to me.
God bless you dear. I am praying for all the men in Fort Lewis, WA. You may enjoy my investigative journalist reports on the HIDDEN SECRETS OF FORT LEWIS.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Fort+lewis+boysel+guillotines&btnG=Google+Search&aq=f&oq=
Pamela Schuffert
truth-4-all@hotmail.com
I've just completed phase I of the mandatory Suicide Prevention training that all Army folks (including us DACs) attend. Having worked briefly in the SP policy program in the late '80s, I am amazed at the good quality training that is now available. The simple truth is that the Army is one of the most stressful environments you will find, even if you're not taking incoming fire. Soldiers are finally being told that the "manly" thing to do is to seek help, not fight through the stress by yourself.
God Bless you.
Hey,
I wanted to thank you so much for your service. The only family I have left is my older brother Jesse. He is stationed in Ft. Lewis also. I am in Texas. I just started my first year and college and had to graduate without my brother and start college without him either. It is really hard on me. I cry almost every night and just pray for him to return safely. Jesse's platoon is stationed in afganistan and is their for 15 months. He left the day before I graduated from high school. I miss him so much and I am just going to keep on praying for his safety. Thank you so much for everything you have done.
一週,相對酒店收入並沒有提高,反而身體搞壞、且充滿負面情緒。「細水長流」才是在酒店兼差穩定增加收入的最佳方式,而我們比照20年來的大數據,也是如此。若是真的急須用錢與身體狀況許可,是可以和店家協調「加班」(在沒有欠班下,如坐完1桌就下班等),在八大潛規則只要酒店上班技巧【事前】協調都可以談,因為「制度是僵固的,人是靈活的!」13.午場的時段和限制,以及優缺點為何!? 會選擇上午場的姐妹們,許多是為了照顧小孩或避開家人、男友的疑慮。店家開設午場原因: 分攤晚場的營運成本(如房租和水電費用) 避免客人和業績幹部的流動(客人會因故提早消費,怕流失到其他店的午場)因此午場可以說是附屬,各店還是以晚場為經營主力。為何午場的生意只是晚場的2~3成呢?! 一般商務客於5點下班,7~8點用完晚餐,大約9點到店內消費(這是最單純的消費客層) 下午的客人,可以說相對特別(就如同妳不會凌晨2點去超市買菜一樣... 就是怪!!)所以午場的生意量較少(收入也可能是晚場的2~3成)。一般午場的時段為何? 下午3~9或4~10或5~11(最少要上6小時)註: 必須把最後一桌坐完(例如客人7點進場消費到酒店小姐穿搭10點半 妳要坐到該客人離場,不能中途卡檯) 若堅持9點離開公司,則有些店家於7~8點左右就不會安排妳看檯(對收入有很大影響) 門禁:有些店家或客人,會接受公關於9點不論理由可止檯、且直接下班。 許多公關彈性選擇「午場跨晚場」加班(一星期加班晚場2~3天,該桌結束後,可隨時下班),好增加節數。14.租套房在店家附近,還是通勤呢?!在北部以妳住基隆或桃園,想在台北酒店工作酒店上班好嗎為例:為了適應新環境,先通勤試上幾天後,再決定下一步。先別急著找房子,初期兩 ~三週先通車,先有收入,不適應馬上換店。確定好店家後,短期不會換店,再從周邊開始找房。台北精華區小套房,有管理員且環境尚可,月租落在2.2萬左右,首月房租+2個月押金,需要6.6萬。店家每月定期開會(晚上7點左右),不定期舉辦活動(提早作造型準備)。租屋雖然比基隆、桃園貴一點,但扣除交通費其實是差不多。加上我們日夜顛倒與喝酒,所以更須要睡眠。結論:先通勤再租屋。15.為什麼許多人會選擇經紀公司!! 『演藝圈經紀人 : 規劃演藝人員各式各樣的演藝事業,能成就其發光發熱!』『酒店業經紀人 : 規劃酒店姐妹在安全有酒店小姐妝尊嚴的環境中,賺到錢進而改善生活!』目前市場上有眾多經紀人,但素質良莠不齊,負面消息不斷,以下是經紀公司應有的條件: 有能見度與知名度。 有五年以上的酒店經紀經驗。 和各店家保持良好互動關係。 旗下經紀人,必須不開桌消費、不賭博、不碰危禁品。 24小時輪班待命,酒店經紀人需要隨時
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